Rule of Life: Taking First Vows

Throughout my monastic journey, there has been no question in my mind that God has called me to a monastic lifestyle. Looking back on my life, I can see a continual thread drawing me towards it from as far back as my teens. As my Novitiate Experience came to a close, I knew without a doubt that taking my first vows was the next step.  ​

In the Order of the Common Life, we are encouraged to explore the Rule of Life and prayerfully consider what individual invitations and commitments the Lord may be drawing us towards. Our founder encouraged me to do a program of study on the vows, learning about how other religious orders organize their membership process and what vows they hold. Many orders commit to the traditional vows of chastity, poverty, obedience and many include a vow of stability or conversion of life. Some orders are more creative, finding ways to connect the vows to their particular faith community in ways that make sense for their context.  ​

I knew the base from which I needed to begin. During the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, I had written a Principle & Foundation statement that had been an important sign post for my second half of life.  

Principle & Foundation

I was handcrafted to adore my Creator with my whole, true self; to respond to God with my body, soul, spirit and intellect. I am ordained to listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit, to watch for Jesus' hand of mercy, to nourish strength, contentment, community, health, and joy in all the Creator’s creatures on Earth, human or otherwise. God has instilled in all creation a spirit of cooperation to help me discover the Heavenly places made for me to be.

I will remember at all times that the Earth and all within its bosom belong to the Creator who fashioned them. I may borrow them on my journey, but must be ready to surrender them to God at the slightest prompting from Spirit, especially if my attachment to them distracts, derails, or detracts me from God’s purposes for my existence. To accomplish this, I have been given the freedom to let all things go, to hold them loosely in the expectation that God may reveal to me a disordered desire that interferes with my adoration, response and nourishing work of God.

Therefore, I have aligned my will solely with the heart of Jesus, to want without reserve whatever He wants, and to never want under any pretext anything which He does not want. I will endeavor to not pursue success, legacy, or recognition for myself; to not expect the already and reject the not yet; to not seek activity over rest, speech over silence, escape over reality, work over stillness, or answers over questions. I choose the Way of Jesus over my own that I may please Him.

With this as my foundation, I explored and discovered the world of the vows held by monastics all over the world. As I read the rule of life held by different religious orders, an overarching theme of Presence continually stood out to me.

• The vow of Chastity is being fully present to your spouse or, if taking a vow of consecrated singleness, being fully present to Jesus Christ as your spouse.

• The vow of Poverty is being present in solidarity with the poor.

• The vow of Obedience is being fully present to God's work in our lives.

• The vow of Stability is being present to one's faith community.

• The vow of Conversion of Life is being present to the journey of holiness and wholeness. 

As I read the rule of life for my own order, the Order of the Common Life, Presence again gleamed through each of our twelve commitments.

• Silence, Solitude and the Contemplative Life is being present to God.

• Spiritual Direction is being present to our own soul.

• Formational Healing is being present to the fractures within our own souls, our culture and our world; being present to the Spirit and to God's continued work of creation and restoration in the world. 

• Spiritual Friendship is being present to those with whom we travel our faith journey.

• Discernment Within Community is being present to life decisions in light of our charism and vocation, monastic or professional, our life stage and the shape of our family.

• Hospitality and the expression of Faults and Affirmations is being fully present to those with whom we share life.

• Consecration of Love in Celibacy & Marriage is being fully present to your spouse or, if taking a vow of consecrated singleness, being fully present to Jesus Christ as your spouse.

• Service to the Church is being present to one's local faith community and to the church movement to which one has committed to love and serve. 

• Simplicity is being fully present to the spaces in which we dwell.

• Shared Work is being present to those with whom we labor alongside.

• Shared Economy is being present to our monastic community and other organizations or individuals with which we share our resources. ​

With those realizations in mind, it just was a matter of tying it all together into a succinct vow statement. ​

My Personal Vows Statement

I desire to make a vow of presence in all of its forms and to creating space in my interior and exterior life that will enable me to be fully present to God, myself and others. I commit to welcome and practice the presence of God and to being present to the work of God in my own life and in the lives of others. I commit to being present to my vocation and to the fractures in my own soul and in our society through discernment, detachment, humility and love. I commit to being present to others in our strengths and weaknesses, our joys and sorrows, the tasks of the common life, and in our needs. I commit to being present to my husband, my family, my faith community, my monastic community, and to the Earth and its inhabitants. ​

On June 26, 2019, I took my first vows in my dining room. The witnesses in the room with me were my husband, my stepson, and one of my small group leaders from our church. On the dining room table was a laptop computer that was dialed into a video conference call with my monastic community, dispersed as they are across the country. I couldn't stop smiling. I took my vows with great joy and fulfillment. My lifelong dream, one that was perhaps at times less vivid than in recent years, has come to pass in real life, in the real world. ​

Now comes the joy and privilege of living this out, day by day, moment by moment. Living a fully integrated life, being able to bring my whole self to every aspect of my life, is absolutely incredible. It has been a long journey to find myself, my vocation, my monastic community, but I wouldn't trade the journey behind nor the journey ahead for anything.

I would like to extend an Invitation to you...

What rule of life is God inviting you into? If you would like to explore some of the rule of life commitments that I mentioned above or would just like to create some intentional space for consideration of your own rule of life, I invite you to join us for one of the opportunities we are offering this year.

Everything is Connected

Rule of Life Midwinter Retreat

Friday-Saturday, Feb. 27-28, 2026

Dunaway Lodge | Kirkmont Center, Zanesfield, Ohio

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Explore the

HOLISTIC | HOLOGRAPHIC | HARMONIC

nature of a rule of life​​

 

To celebrate the completion of the Rule of Life e-book series, we will host an overnight retreat exploring the nature of living into a rule of life.

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HOLISTIC | How our rule of life affects our whole person

HOLOGRAPHIC | How our rule of life commitments affect one other

HARMONIC | How our rule of life commitments affect our life rhythms 

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To see the retreat schedule, click here.

To register, click here.

Rule of Life | Book Study Group

Monthly online group discussion about The Rule of Life Commitments e-book series 

March - November 2026

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How can a personal rule of life be informed by the stories of our biblical heroes? 

​Dixi Vargo, author of The Rule of Life Commitments e-book series, invites you to join her in a monthly online group discussion  to explore your personal rule of life.

Group participants will spend one month on each volume of Dixi's e-book series then come together for a 90-minute online meeting to share what God is saying through these reflections.

Cost of the book study group includes all 8-volumes of The Rule of Life Commitments e-book series.

Express your interest and receive further updates by clicking here.